Paradigm Shift

Don't think I've really mentioned this before, but I'm a huge Final Fantasy fan.
Doing my usual of just jumping in without an intro, but given how sparse my updates usually are, I will just assume that "sorry-i-haven't-updated-i've-been-doing-this-blah-blah" intros will just get old very quickly here.

So, as my sister tends to spend every Friday night staying over at one of her friend's house, I decided to shake the dust off my controllers and play Kingdom Hearts or something. (Fine. This was spurred on because I came across a picture of traverse town on my tumblr dashboard, and that immediately triggered a strong wave of nostalgia and a NEED to play...) I found that my ps2 wasn't actually working, so I shrugged and turned on the ps3 to find that my FFXIII disc wasn't in there.

Some notes:
(1) I hadn't even touched my consoles since we'd moved, which was last summer, because
(2) I don't have my own TV, and the one I used to play on is now in my sister's room and
(3) My sister hates anyone in her room whilst she's there
(4) which is always

I'd remembered i'd placed ejected my ffxiii disc and placed it somewhere. Not in its case, which would be the sensible thing, but I carefully placed it somewhere so I wouldn't lose it.
Well jesus christ, that was smart.

It took just over an hour of searching before I found it hiding with Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets, which was obviously the last place I would look. Ecstatic, I popped in the disc, and realised why I'd neglected the game for so long: the first boss battle with Barthandelus.
Regardless, after a few adrenaline-fueled rounds, I proceeded onto the next part...

That was one week ago and long story short, I've finished the game and have now been left with a dull ache that will never leave, not just because of the (1) sad ending, but also the fact that (2) i've finished a game.
I always always get like this, I remember when I finished kingdom hearts, the pain and misery that filled my angst-ridden 13 year old self. Even finishing the ace attorney games, no matter how many times I finish them, leaves me feeling like I have no purpose. Thank god there is going to be a sequel.

Although I looked up the sequel, and I'm not sure what to think...it appears to really be playing off Lightning's popularity and her character as one, as opposed to the storyline/group of ffxiii - either way, I'm obviously going to get it!

With a lack of ps3 games and my ps2 still being fixed, I started silent hill: homecoming instead (again, as I got... relatively far but couldn't remember anything to be honest) Asides from the stupid ps3 controls, I managed to scare myself into not wanting to leave my room. Facebook conversations spurred a new activity on the horizon: looks like i'm going to be playing amnesia as well. Let's see how well that goes.

One more day of exams! 6 hours in one day, props to whoever scheduled the ib exams. That was sarcasm of course, to whomever: i hate you.

Sevens weekends and last days

Listen to this, this or this. (All the same band, deal with it?)

Edit: Just checked my last post because I wasn't sure when I last updated, and I realised I'd left ya'll hanging on my uni offer. Got the offer but had home fee status rejected! Annoying, but that's my motivation!

SEVENS WEEKEND

Me and Sophie! (Who i met last year at the sevens)

Quick recap because not sure if my non-existent readers know what the 7s are: Rugby 7s, annual event, massive event, tickets are an insane market, dress up in costumes, everyone gets drunk, no one watches rugby, stretches friday to sunday.

I sold my saturday though and gave myself a break.

So this was... two weekends ago or something. I was just too lazy to update.

No photos from friday because friday was pretty shitty. We lost half the people we were with, met a few new ones (mostly year 12s from my school i'd already known by sight.) and the night after was boring as hell. Therefore, sold my saturday and was considering selling my sunday.

Rating for friday: C-

Rating for sunday: A

As you can see, I am glad I went! Met up with Esme and Sophie, arrived just past twelve and promptly got tipsy very quickly.

I am aware that so many of my blogs talk about drinking and going out and I must sound like an awful alchy. Swear to god i'm the most boring innocent person ever, I only update after I do something so...

Anyway, tipsy me is me minus all the bitterness and sarcasm (so verging on, "friendly," even,) - a fact loads of people commented on the next day when they expressed surprise at how happily I appeared to greet them when i'm usually bloody miserable.

Christine's friend Emily (from canada who was traveling!) Christine, me (cool don't look at the camera or anything,) and David.

Oh yeah, I did the cat face thing. I did it on both friday and sunday, because I am (1) lazy and it (2) got good feedback and everyone said (3) it was adorable but (4) people kept meowing at me which was just not cool.

With Dylan and Patti (who I met there.) jksagfhsafsa I was like HI I'M LAURA, and she went, Oh, Laura Grant! Obviously ~tumblr famous now~ although I'm not sure how these people find me?

View of stadium! Pretty full.

New Zealand beat England to win by the way. Not that I paid much attention.

Don't know half these people but just goes to show hahah...

Too lazy to rearrange the pictures but here are the beautiful fireworks! I actually love fireworks so much ooh favourite things ever.

In canada we went to watch these fireworks when we were on gibson's, and we'd been waiting for like an hour and me and Hannah were complaining and then they started and I forgot how mad I was :') I used to always watch them from my balcony when I lived in kowloon, or sometimes outside, but there's a difference between standing in the most crowded-ass place ever with cameras and news reporters everywhere and lying on the grass just watching.

This was when Esme was waiting for Aubin... who decided not to sneak in this time apparently HAHA. Tickets are usually really hard to come by until the day itself.

Tori was a proud giraffe! (Other costumes included: spongebobs, disney characters, thomas the tank engines, ronald mcdonald, animals, and there are always really creative ones. I SAW A SWAN QUEEN FROM BLACK SWAN and it maybe made my day.

I actually do remember all of sunday (although the drinks and food are ridiculously expensive, so I mostly cutely had bits of other people's until I was relatively pleasant.) I watched maybe...30 minutes of games altogether which is a bit pathetic, and instead spent most of the time just wandering around. After Friday, i was less inclined to going specifically WITH PEOPLE, and instead just drifted, continuously going between the slope or the seats... I'm sure it was annoying as hell with me wandering like a sad little ghost but it was fun enough for me!

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL

Anyway, I have just had my last day of lessons (tomorrow is "The End" where we watch each other give insufferable performances and listen to teachers talk about how this is the end.) People are already getting nostalgic and upset (Bless Izzy, she was crying yesterday :')) I don't know why but I don't feel sad at all: I've been ready to leave since year 12 and I'm finally leaving and i'm so excited.

I'm actually getting worried uni will suck, since I'm hyping myself up for it so much... but from what I've seen, IF I GET IN, it will be absolutely amazing. I'm so scared I won't get in because I actually need this so much. That thought is the only one sustaining me to be honest ashfgsa HENCE WHY I'M ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT UNI HERE, OOPS.

I made myself self-appointed organiser of pranks this year and we planned out quite a lot (despite loads of bitter haters,) but our head of year pretty much snapped at me regarding the pranks yesterday and left me bitter and grouchy. After I emailed everyone saying pretty much "FUCK IT," I changed my mind and we are just going to do what we can! Won't post here but will post an update after...

Was meant to go out all night tonight (well, I'd technically never asked my parents...) but now i'm pretty sick (although I still went to school today...) so looks like that's out of the question. And it's 9.54 already heh... so instead we're meeting for breakfast at 5.30am (not a typo,) and going to school early! Momma made chocolate rice krispies for our school lunch tomorrow (yes I have already had one.) so hopefully it won't be a sucky day, especially as we've sorted out our skit finally (very lame but may be funny...depends...)

(I plan to maybe get tipsy at breakfast, heh.)

Fast times

These are the awkward times.

This is the period of transition and the moment that strikes when you're not sure (1) where you're going (2) what you're doing (3) what you're thinking and (4) how you feel.

Not only is it a phase of physical uprooting, this may be the time you start to figure yourself out and change to suit yourself.

If high school is supposedly the worst time of your life, uni should be the best. High school was shit so let's hope the statement holds.

Stepping Stone

A few updates on life and things.

Just kidding, massive post about university and me and that's all it is about!

Last night, I was checking my email (which I have been doing obsessive-compulsively lately,) and I noticed I had received an email, from the undergraduate admissions office at University of Warwick.

Heart pounding, fingers shaking, don't be disappointed don't get your hopes up whatifididntgetitiflewallthewayout ... oh god, i'mafailurewhatamigoingtodo...

The email I received is as following:

We are about to make your offer for Film Studies and we are writing to let you know that we have your fee information which will be referred to colleagues for assessing.

Does it seem like an acceptance? Yes, I believe so.

Did I want to get my hopes up and be madly disappointed? No, I did not.

"Your offer"

What if, I'd pondered, it was a REJECTION offer? No, that does not make sense, no, there is no such thing. I still thought it.

No more emails that night.

This morning. Spring to my computer. Turn on. Internet freezes and I am angry and I just want to check but I KNOW there won't be anything and I'll just return to my antsy state and -

Inbox (2)

I stop pulling my jeans on. (Great visuals for you all there...) I click on the inbox as my internet freezes. First email in the inbox (aka latest one sent,) is from the Warwick Undergrad office.

Thank you for your application to study at the University of Warwick. I am delighted to confirm that the University is making you a conditional offer of a place -

Stop. Re-read. Re-read again. Scroll down, looking for the loljk. Catch sight of the one phrase I never want to read again: overseas student.

Cannot decide if I am overjoyed or disappointed. Settle on both.

Here is what the future looks like:

• I get in. My review for fee status is accepted. Attend with local fees life is fab etc. <- Preferred Scenario.
• I get in. My review for fee status is rejected. I can a) stay at the cheapest accommodation and spend very little to compensate for the ridiculous 3x fee my parents will have to pay, b) Try and get a job whilst I'm there just to do something (can we even do that,) or c) Earn a bit of spending money over the summer.
• I get 36 points but not a 6 in higher english. what. do. I. do. here...
• I don't get enough points. I panic because I don't know what to do in this case.

Enough pessimistic thinking. Just written a 2 hour commentary. But in an hour and a half...

Things to do once we go on study leave that I actually will do because I've written them down:

• Get tumblr password changed by sister, (Yes, I am going there.)
• Deactivate Facebook
• Log out of Flickr (That will be enough to stop my lazy ass going on there.)
• Uncheck 'Remember me,' or whatever on MSN.
• Delete ONTD off my bookmarks ...

UNTIL THEN:

Rugby 7s on Friday. Massive social event.

I have people going on Friday, but not sure who's on Saturday.

I haven't asked my parents if I can stay out yet.

I'm quite excited.

I will take lots of photos.

I probably will not blog until then.

P.S. This is my 10th blog post. Furthest I've ever come. Exciting.

Long post being long.

Thoughts: Touched down in Hong Kong 1.50pm today on a plane from London.

Thoughts: I'm "home"

Thoughts: I didn't want to come back.

Someone read LOOKING FOR ALASKA and decided to start a blog entry with an obscure reference to said text that no one will get.

Waiting for pictures to load up so I can edit then upload them, I will start chronologically.

PRE

Going to England for a university interview for Warwick. Not compulsory. But it helps. And truth be told, I wanted to go to go. I'd had the shittiest week ever and decided that galavanting off the week after sounded fabulous. And it was.

Luckily, having relatives and friends in england came in very handy here. My dear aunt took a week off work, (she had 5 days to use anyway,) and my engaged cousin also came along.

DAY ONE

Half a day really. Got on the plane. Got shitty seats.

I fell asleep and missed my meal.

(I had it in the morning instead.......)

We sat at the very front and there was no leg room - miscalculation on our part - and there was a man on the aisle seat and it was cold and uncomfortable and we had stupid fold out tables that gave me a headache and I didn't even watch a movie because I just wasn't bothered.

Completed approximately 1 pokémon game.

Arrived, changed currency. The pounds are really high now.

Found my aunt. Drove 2 hours to my grandma's house, which is near Warwick uni.

Arrived at 7am and it was maybe 7 degrees. I was delighted and excited and so so glad I'd decided to come just so I could not be at school for 3 days and on a scale of 1 to 10 I was maybe at a 17.

I can't even remember what we did this day now.

My cousin arrived around half 3 so we went off to look around and buy my sister - who wasn't on the trip but managed to spend the most money - some bits and pieces. I called one of my oldest friends and arranged to meet.

Met at a cute coffee shop I would soon become very familiar with as I would come to see it everywhere the next few days. (Costa Coffee, for your reference.)

Arranged dinner the next day. Went home. Slept.

DAY TWO

Woke at 4. My mom went for a run about half six whilst I just sat there and breathed. Got up.

Since my cousin's getting married next year, I, who dress up nicely maybe ... once a year, gets to be bridesmaid. We try on dresses for the next 4 hours. When I say "we," I mean "I"

So I get to try on almost 30 dresses which are too big for me and I have to twirl and hold up awkward bits and be fussed over like a doll.

My mother found this all hilarious.

I go to my friend Portia's house. We walk all the way out to a massive field. We make a Blair Witch esque documentary. It features giggles and doesn't make much sense.

We realise we have no idea what the time is and no way to contact anyone and we're meant to meet for dinner so we sprint home and we have 10 minutes before we leave.

We talk, eat, and say goodbye.

DAY THREE

University day. Drive up to Warwick and I fall in love with the campus. We're lost but we're early so I don't mind. A very awkward, shy and stuttering math student offers to show us the way. There are a lot of people there and I quietly judge them all and compare them.

1 and a half hour presentation, my mother is falling asleep but I try to look attentive and interested. I am afraid that I look as sycophantic as Caroline sometimes does. He gives an example lecture and I refrain from shooting my hand in the air in imitation of Hermione several times. The head of department is hosting my interview and I get to go first time because I come from so far away. I feel special until I find out another girl in my tour group came from Dubai.

Tour the university. I am about ready to move in.

No pictures because I'm too excited and I don't want to look like a total tourist/prat.

Instead, I go for my interview. I'm chatty and awkward and I don't think before I speak. I later get annoyed when people ask how it went. It's difficult to say. I don't know the standards of other people.

He asked the following:

• Why Warwick?
• In your personal statement, you mention a lot of practical experience. How do you feel about the course being purely theoretical?
• Tell me about a movie you've seen recently which you really enjoyed.
• In your essay, you mention how Miyazaki is an outspoken feminist. Has he actually stated that or is it a label often applied to him?
• Miyazaki often deals with - as you mentioned - dynamic characters. Do you find it harder to analyse these characters?
• Do you have any questions?

(Also included: Have you really come all the way from Hong Kong? Did you write your essay from scratch? Have you seen the American remake?)

I answered:

• Warwick is the best for film. I'm passionate about film. I tend to excel in what I'm passionate at.
• I'm creative but academic. I won't stop making movies. I know you need theoretical experience.
• Let the right one in. Beautiful/flawless/stunning etc.
• Never outwardly stated but heavily implied. He aims to promote very pro-feminist messages in his films, and generally does.
• Miyazaki includes a lot of hidden messages in his films. The dynamics of which are often why I love his films.

(Also included: Yes, yes, no.)

Obviously in a lot more detail since I have a tendency to ramble on. We fell into almost general conversation. He agreed with a lot of the points I made with Let the right one in and Miyazaki's films. I made a few stupid statements. I managed to ask a question (always hard, but it shows you are interested.)

I am terrified for the result. (Should be updated within one week.)

Drove 3 hours or so to my aunt's house. Party of 11 or so. Met the fiance, the brother of the fiance, the mother of the fiance.

The girlfriend of the male cousin.

The dog.

I was same as ever; awkward and desperately shy but trying not to be. I tried very hard to be funny and witty and I was tired but trying hard to stay up and I babbled and accidentally took a pepperoni pizza but I didn't eat it so it was fine.

Everyone left and I went to sleep and I thought about the interview a million times and all the things I should/shouldn't have said and thought about my future and the past and everything else and then I finally started dreaming of flowers and sushi and there were people but they never spoke to me and I still don't know who they were.

DAY FOUR

Went to see Amy & Mike (engaged cousin + fiance) and the flat they were planning to buy. I want to buy a flat. I want to decorate my own flat.

Went to Stevenage, a "rough area" for last minute shopping. Exploded with excitement and the cheapness of Primark and spent ages in HMV but didn't actually buy anything but I went to the bookstore and stayed until I was dragged out.

Picked up bits and pieces for people. Mainly English chocolate.

Went back.

Packed the rest of our stuff.

Drove to the airport.

Got better seats. I ate my meal. I watched tangled and read magazines I'd bought for my sister.

Landed in Hong Kong. Hot, stuffy, humid. My walls are sweating and the floor is wet, which brings us back to now.

TODAY

I have made a to do list of things to do.

I have school work to do.

I have revision to start.

I found england so peaceful. Obviously I didn't have school so that probably removed a shitload of usual stress. It was quiet but not boring and the weather was brilliant and it's really ugly here and I was so happy and such a goddamn tourist but it was all so wonderful.

I'm so anxious but I'm so happy. I really really hope i get to go back next year.

Even if not, I hope I can still be in england.

2 weeks or so to go.

Post to remember

Typing this up as pictures upload because I want to remember this :)

For the last two years, I've been involved with our student charity fashion show, The Innovation. It's actually a huge deal, this was the fourth show. Although loads of ESF school do them, Innovation was the first and it's taken very seriously by the organisers~ I do all the graphics stuff (with my mentee,) so catalogs, tickets, posters (I didn't do them this year though,) which means my job at the show is easy, as opposed to running around with a headpiece in.

I'm pretty sure we set a few records. The stage looked absolutely amazing, stage team completely outdid themselves! Lights and everything were fantastic, although we came absolutely close to having no show at all, since we couldn't find the big power switch. Me and Bibian, head organiser, found a massive, very tv-looking switch, but were too wimpy to switch it incase we got electrocuted. Luckily someone else came and did it for us...

There's also the Innovation curse that every year it fails to get filmed. Last year, there were no filming people/cameras, year before they didn't record etc... this year we had a large film crew so it was all filmed, and will be on dvd ah!

Best of all, we raised HKD $100,000 dollars, which is 12,900 USD which makes it seem a lot less hahah, but ahh. That's double the amount last year, and we don't need to pay for damages !

We didn't have an official after party, but everyone just pretty much went out after, which was amazing. Alex was a bit worrying at one bit because she vanished and no one knew where she was... we got a text later though saying she'd gone home, thank god haha. A loooot of people were out in lkf, and I tend to be a lot more sociable when i'm tipsy so it was actually fun! I met up with loads of people, including IZZY, LIZZY & ALI finally, we've never been out together before even though we are SPIRIT ANIMALS. We traipsed around lkf and danced and talked and basically it was an amazing night.

This will probably be my last post before I head off to uk for my uni interview ! I'm so excited, after HELL WEEK, it'll be lovely to have some relaxation time ahh.

Miserable blog post.

Well, isn't this fun.

Quick post. halfway through one of the shittier weeks of my life. My final film is due.

I wish it weren't, I'm not too happy with it, but at this point I really just want it all done. Then it's Innovation, and then I'm off to the uk for a week. thank god. Although i'm having another private battle to do with universities. I hate this :(

I was listening to Zelda World Radio whilst I started my english essay (and which I didn't finish uh. Jesus christ, a 2 hour essay? No...) and I'm just listening to video game music now. I really miss this part of my life !!! I don't know, I always say IB hasn't changed my life a lot, but I don't know why I don't play all my games anymore... I need to get my consoles out of my sister's room !!!

I had this conversation with my french tutor, the idea that all little girls wanted to be princesses. I was never really a princess person, but all I want right now is to go galavanting off on a horse with a sword on some grand adventure. I am far too much an escapist for my own good. Everything is just so neh right now.

This has been an ugly and boring post so here, have a picture: