Goodbye Nights

FINALLY getting around to rewriting this. Writing something that you've pretty much already written is the dumbest thing ever, which is why I've put this off for so long. And now of course, I've forgotten all the original content and what I've even done since Lizzy's left. Not much; stayed at home and read A Song Of Ice & Fire and watched Jersey Shore, (oh! The contrast!) and did some art bits and pieces. I can be the biggest hermit sometimes most of the time.

Now forgive me in advance for perhaps the most boring piece of information ever that I am going to divulge: I wanted a hat for a while and I got one and new sunglasses that really don't match anything but I love all the same.

Everyone hates me with a middle parting except me, but I hate it in pictures because it looks really dumb. Mirror or photos: one of you is lying.

My computer had been broken last week so I picked up a hobby I used to partake in a lot: drawing creepy, random doodles of dead things and the like. I actually finished a few pieces, but staying true to myself, the ratio to unfinished to finished is still at around 4:1.

Went out a few times, and whilst they were fun, nothing special. (Except the most recent Tuesday, but I refuse to blog about it because I really don't remember anything and I don't really want to. Self defense mechanism amnesia, oh god.) Pretty sure I'd hit my peak with partying earlier in the summer and I've reverted back to being my own boring homebody self, which I like. PARTY WITH THE PS3, WHAT'S UP.

This night was worth it though because Aidan wore a kilt.

Vanity closeups because I did my hair different for once in my life, and ugh what's up with my parting. I also wore something I hadn't worn before. I hate shopping so I don't go a lot, and when I do, I refer to it as purposeful shopping; I know what I want and I just go and get it. As if I'll be fucked to actually try it on and stuff. If it doesn't fit, tough luck, I suck.

As for now, just waiting for everyone to leave, before I resume complaining about how long I'm still here for. (Just kidding! I never stopped complaining!) Actually got permission to do a Cute Goodbye Gathering so that'll be the weekend before I leave. God, this summer has dragged on for so long, these 'What-I-Did-Today/This Week/This Month' posts are getting so repetitive and boring. I need to write more Angsty Teen Thoughtz™ articles.

Golden (Goodbyes)

We are golden because we're alive,

We are nothing without our goodbyes,

Illuminate our own way from inside,

We shine so bright, we shine so bright.

- Golden, Farewell Fighter

They say you're always more creative when you're emotional as you put yourself into your work. I have just literally cried my soul out shed a few tears, my first in quite a long time. I have just said my final in real life goodbye to Lizzy. She's heading off to Beijing, and invited me and Esme - as together, we make up the simplets - round to her house for crepes, movies, and cheese plates. Camera, as promised, was brought along and promptly used and abused, as I'd also promised.

Esme came over earlier and we recorded a cute song we'd written for Liz, as well as a B-Side which was a story about a Gorilla & The Whale, (which is freaking adorable, to be completely honest.) We then went to Lizzy's, took adorable photos, had amazing crepes - salty crepes, then cheese plate, then sweet crepes omg crepes - watched Hairspray, then sat in her room and talked. And talked and talked. Talked so much I'd missed my chance to get the last bus home.

It's... really only just registered with me. All this people leaving business. And soon enough, it's going to be me? I'd always pictured my departure as me skipping through the airport with my suitcases, ready to finally get out of this place, ready for new adventures. But after tonight, not so sure. Sure, I'll miss this place...eventually. I'll miss some people here. I'll miss my family. I'll miss some aspects of this place, but whether my excitement will override my separation sadness, we'll have to see... I'm sure I'll blog about it either way, (I sure have been good with blogging recently!)

And whilst we're here, I'll through in two 'outfits,' if they can be named that. I always think to myself, "Ooh, I want to try look somewhat decent today," and forget about the fact that it's really not easy with the stifling heat and humidity here.

Didn't really wear that hat. I was joking. It was raining and I wanted to find one but that was the only hat I could find in my house... Top: ??? Shorts: Forever 21, I think?

Lizzy's last night out. Top: Again, god knows where. Shorts I think are forever 21 as well. Hair detail, yay! Necklaces from I Don't Know. I'm not very good at this.

This City Is Contagious!

(EDIT: 50th blog post, yay milestone!)

(Written 2/08/11)

Had a fairly weird last few days. Mood has been swinging from manically happy to I-Hate-Everyone, (before you ask, no, not time of the month shut up.) In fact, I should be at my oldest friend's dinner tonight but I'm not, just for the reason that I really don't feel up to it mentally. I was all ready to go before but suddenly it hit me that I really couldn't do it and I just wanted to sit at home and blog and draw, which is precisely what I am doing at the moment.

Computer has been busted last few days, leaving me severely frustrated with not much to do, and the activities I have been partaking in recently are really a testament to how much I depend on the internet. I read (a lot,) drew, (a lot,) ate, (a lot,) and complained, (a whole fucking bunch.)

(Present)

Despite my late grumpy mood, I did venture out last night and I'm glad I did. But actually, I'm going to force you all to abandon any hope of me actually making a post in, you know, chronological order, and just post random things I've been doing/thinking/buying/making lately.

Because of a dead computer (later found out it was a dodgy video card that had moved or something,) I went back to another hobby which happened to be doodling creepy things and painting them. My room was promptly turned into a makeshift studio, (i.e. I put newspaper on the floor and throw paints everywhere and dig out stationary,) and I would paint until I got bored. I did, contrary to belief, manage to actually complete a few paintings, although the ratio of complete:incomplete is maybe 1:4. (But it always has been that way.)

I've been talking about getting a hat for ages, (not on here... I think I may have briefly mentioned it in the last post but I'm too lazy to even check that...) so I finally got one. Not even sure why, I just wanted one? And my new sunglasses. They don't go with anything and look strange with most things but I fucking adore them.

Like mentioned earlier, actually dragged my lazy ass out the door last night as (a) Savannah came back, and (b) the AIS people had their ball and consequently were all out after. I got all inspired and actually made somewhat of an effort with my outfit in that I did not wear the same things and actually did my hair different for the first time in my life.

I like my new headscarf thing because loads of people complimented me on it and it raised my self esteem and would it be wrong of me to now base my self-worth on this headscarf??? Because I may.

Lan Kwai then Wanchai because most people I was with don't like LKF. Managed to get in, and stuck to my good streak by only having one drink and still had a brilliant time regardless. I think I hit my peak already to be honest in terms of getting trashed and now I've already become old and boring. Just kidding, my crowd is fun aw, even if Lizzy is (a) gone, and (b) with limited internet meaning we haven't had any of our brilliant/fabulous skype conversations lately. Although I may have just switched places with my best friend Chris, based on his drunk ramblings to me this afternoon, (night for him.)

With all that said, everyone is leaving either the end of this week, or soon after, leaving me alone and stranded here forever for a while longer. Not sure if/when any emotional attachment to this place will kick in, but for now, I'm just desperate to leave, and in my usual fashion, I take this desperation out on everyone by complaining non-stop, which happens to be what I am best at. I'm sure a sentimental wait-hong-kong-i-was-kidding-i-love-you post will be coming soon, (loljk no,) but for now, I will content myself with belting out that one bit from We Are The In Crowd's For The Win (I CAN'T TAKE, ANOTHER SECOND IN THIS GOD DAMNED TOWN.)