
We are golden because we're alive,We are nothing without our goodbyes,Illuminate our own way from inside,We shine so bright, we shine so bright.







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We are golden because we're alive,We are nothing without our goodbyes,Illuminate our own way from inside,We shine so bright, we shine so bright.
(1) Hold solo concerts to a missing audience. Let’s get the first fact straight: I really cannot sing. I can warble my way through a tune and hit chords on a guitar. My strumming isn’t too bad. But something about the cover of darkness and the quiet sleepiness of post-2AM deludes my brain into thinking that I am the next female Conor Oberst. Quietly strumming minor chords and singing in that raspy-whisper-so-I-don’t-wake-my-parents-but-ooh-it-sounds-so-indie-esque whilst sitting in a half-lit room? What a fine example of the tragically creative young teenager, who obviously cannot hold in all her talent for a time where there is far less risk of waking up parents slash neighbours slash siblings.
(2) Draw or Paint Strange Things. Those who are attentive should already be noticing a pattern here. Most of my night time activities do seem to revolve around more creative hobbies. I used to be pretty big on drawing and painting a few years back, but lost that as my pile of schoolwork grew so big that it covered all light from my windows and left me fumbling in the dark unable to mix colours. (A gross exaggeration if there ever was one.) Sometimes, however, I will be overcome with a strong desire to doodle a zombie eating a brain popsicle, or maybe a cat riding a jellyfish. These sometimes also happen to usually be just as I am about to fall asleep, so I have to make the choice between nurturing my creativity right at that moment, or falling asleep with my head full of strange and brilliant ideas that I will forget in the morning. I will then hate my past self.
(3) Make Myself Really Hungry. I am pretty much kitchen impaired. I used to not be allowed in the kitchen when meals were being prepared because my mom was pretty much afraid that if I so much glanced at the food, my terrible cooking skills would leak out and contaminate that night’s lasagna. Despite that, I have also harbored quite a strong secret desire to be really good at cooking; to be able to whip up the most amazing, impressive meals, sending all my friends and family into admiration flurries. Unfortunately, this desire is facing a long battle between my laziness, which has triumphed over many other desires and plans. Therefore, instead of going into the kitchen and burning it down making a huge mess that would no doubt result in failure, I look up recipes and food and sit there and just think about making them, with the childish logic that if I somehow look up enough reviews and recipes for Red Velvet cake, I will one day suddenly be able to bake one worthy of the Gods of Mount Olympus themselves. In the meantime, however, I just make myself really hungry.
(4) Rediscover My iTunes Library. This is maybe the one nightly activity I do that I really adore myself for the next morning. I’ve gone through 3 – or maybe 4? – iPods, not including disc crashs and generally loss of music. Because I have filled my computer up to the brim with utter rubbish, I used to never backup my music properly, deleting tons once it had been dragged to my iPod, meaning I lost tons of songs every time. As my library is quite extensive, I have never fully recovered from each loss; there are always songs you forget to sync on or rip or download or you’ve lost that CD or someone’s borrowed it etc. Luckily, I sometimes randomly just go through my playlists and music, either (re)downloading or just listening to old songs. Picture the scene: girl, 17, playing mood music on her computer, dark outside, dark inside, fairylights and small bedside light on. Rainymood.com if she’s feeling particularly meaningful that night. Pretty intense stuff. And you know that feeling you get when you rediscover an old song you used to adore and it sounds just as good? Yeah, I think I’m addicted to that feeling.
(5) Think. Sometimes I write. If we are going to use silly bird metaphors in describing and categorizing the different sleeping patterns of people, I would definitely be a ‘night owl.’ I stay up late because I love the cover of darkness and the fact that everyone else in the household is asleep, making it essentially my place and time and anything else I want it to be. Talking aloud feels weird after a while and your eyes adjust to the half-light and there’s almost a small degree of surrealism. Suddenly, I am undisturbed and alone with my thoughts, and with this prompt, they run wild. Linked in with the fact I always feel most inspired and creative at night, this is obviously the best time to write; the world is suddenly concentrated on my screen and my fingers and the words in my mind and my ideas are just so alive because everyone else is asleep. A lot of the time, these ideas are nonsensical and will stay in my drafts folder until I feel like deleting them. A lot of the time, these ideas will be edited and improved and posted, making up a large majority of content here. A lot of the time, they will just be posted because I am full of raw creativity and talent god damn it.
P.S. It’s night time now.
Google it. There are countless articles and pages and lists and infographs describing the different types of drunks there are, and they usually involve similar titles: happy, crying, angry, horny etc. However, each person’s experience surrounding drunks is, of course, a personal one, and I feel it is about time I add my own variations based on the people I go out with, and the people I encounter.
No, I will not divulge who is who.
Denial Drunk
No, Denial Drunk is not fucking drunk and fuck you if you think they are. Can’t you see them shaking their head and screaming at you that they’re completely sober?
Angry/Confrontational Drunk
This drunk, upon intoxication, will suddenly recall every single moment they have been wronged their entire life, and feel the need to confront every single problem they have ever faced right at that very moment. Did you accidentally cause them to stub their toe on the right side of the bed frame three weeks ago? Well
Weepy Drunk
Perhaps the more passive aggressive version of Angry/Confrontational Drunk, but with a brand new twist: instead of blaming everyone and everything for all the problems in the world, they chose to blame themselves. From global climate change, to the fact that Sarah’s boyfriend dumped her, Weepy Drunk will take on the burden of all the world’s problems onto their own shoulders, and then cry and complain about them for the rest of the night. When they eventually run out of things to blame themselves for, they will simply move onto crying over the most obscure things – such as the fact F.R.I.E.N.D.S ended, or the last jar on the shelf at a supermarket that must be feeling so lonely because no one wants to take it home.
Horny Drunk
Here is one that always makes the list: horny drunk. Horny Drunk can be anyone: the local manwhore with the shitty reputation, or your prude friend who blushes crimson whenever someone says the word ‘penis.’ Something about the lights and atmosphere and bubbly feeling and, well, all the other Horny Drunks bring out, (or emphasize, if Horny Drunk doubles as Horny Sober as well,) the inner slut. Put your beer goggles on, because standards are at an ALL TIME LOW, Tonight’s Special Only! … Or maybe not just tonight, because after all, this is always the friend who always winds up in the corner sucking face with that one person everyone has been trying to avoid all night.
Neverending Party Drunk
This is either one of two people: that person you see every, single time you’re out, but they never remember you because they apparently are never sober, or that friend you all make sure is out every time because they are a fucking rave. Or both simultaneously. This is the person who does not, despite all their experience, know their limits. (Or if they do, just do not give a shit about said limits.) Often the most entertaining, and most likely to be the one passed out in a corner by the time it hits
Friendly Drunk
A step down from Neverending Party Drunk, Friendly Drunk is just out to have a good time; and for them, a good time is going around and increasing their social circle – at least, just for the night. Friendly Drunk will be the one to interrupt your deep conversation with Weepy Drunk to compliment you on your shoes, or will bound up and introduce themselves, ending their introduction with a slightly slurred, “You are soooooo cool. We tooooootally have to hang out sometime!” These are all, of course, unintentional falsities: Friendly Drunk will wake up in the morning with a shitstorm of new phone contacts and friend requests, and have absolutely no clue as to who any of them are.
Mother Drunk
Mother Drunk is the one with the maternal instinct that kicks in, creating a compulsive need to make sure everyone is alright. Usually however, Mother Drunk is probably just as drunk as the people they are trying to look after. Whilst their intentions are always good, the definition of ‘Look After,’ also depends on Mother Drunk’s own intoxication levels. They may throw you in a cab, shout your address and wave goodbye. They may follow – and who can blame them, because I do as well – the urban legend that bread and water after a night of drinking helps stop the hangover, and force feed you bread, making you chug water until you feel like your bladder is about to burst, getting increasingly hysterical every time you argue – “But there’s no ROOM in my STOMACH.” Depending on who, once everyone is safely home – perhaps accompanied by an influx of “HI ARS U GOME##” text messages – they may or may not simply pass out on the street themselves.
Bonus: Helpful Drunk
Similarly to Mother Drunk, Helpful Drunk – or perhaps, better known as Helpful Tipsy – is that friend who never gets quite as drunk as everyone else. You’ll spot them all around: consoling Weepy Drunk after she had a run in with Angry/Confrontational Drunk, holding back Neverending Party Drunk’s hair as they repeatedly spew quarts of cocktails, pulling Horny Drunk away from The Creeper Everyone Has Been Warned About, and doing bread and water runs for Mother Drunk. Whether it is just their altruistic nature, or something to do with the smaller amount of alcohol they’ve consumed, they often become the Blessed Angel of the night. If you have one of these around – provided that you aren’t Helpful Drunk,- it is no doubt that they are the reason why your drunk, incoherent ass managed to get itself home, changed, and in bed. Will be the most appreciated of friends the next morning.