When The Internet Is Down

(Based On a True Story)

Wait. Why isn’t facebook working? Refresh. Refresh. Refresh with a variety of methods: manually, the little button next to the URL bar. F5. Type in the address again and click enter close to a million times.

Okay fine. Google. Google always works. If google is down, it’s the internet – ah, nope. This page cannot be found. I resist the temptation to shout “WELL, FIND IT THEN,” and aim to resolve this issue in a mature, adult-like manner.

I continue on my quest and open up network preferences. For someone who spends so much time on the internet, I sure am pretty dumb at it. I change a few settings – I don’t know what this means but I’ll change it? – and then change them right back because the internet was working earlier, and I sure as hell didn’t touch anything. What gives?

Next is the cross-check. I shout across the room to my sister, “IS INTERNET WORKING FOR YOU?” She doesn’t reply but one glance at her screen shows her playing brainless games on neopets.com. It’s blatantly discrimination now.

Backtrack to network preferences. Stare at it and close it again. Mounting frustration.

Turn off the airport. Wait three seconds. Turn it on again. As if that changes anything. Repeat this several times.

And then comes the part where I give up. I sadly close the web browser and open up – get off the computer? No. That would just be dumb, - my browser and photo editing program and photo software and calendar and Microsoft word. Time to rearrange all my files. Rename ‘lol.png’ and ‘ajskfgahsfsaf.doc’ so I actually know what said files are. Edit photos – the same photo several ways, just because I can. Take photos of yourself until the sight of your face just depresses you. Open up Microsoft word and type up an article about what you do when the internet is down.

Routinely open up firefox and refresh. Nope. Still nothing. Back to moving my files. Edit this photo with a pink tinge. Type up more thoughts and try to be funny but you’re really just annoyed so it all comes out as a rant.

And then when it finally comes back, I breathe a sigh of relief. I can finally respond to all those notifications, emails! I can explain and apologize to all those people wondering where I’d gone – it wasn’t me, the internet was down.

I click through tabs of no updates and realise that after all that, I’m just going to revert back to what I was doing before, and I happily continue colour-coding folders on my desktop.